Awe
Why do I go alone into mountain streams?
Why do I walk alone in the mountains?
People ask me that from time to time.
“Isn’t it dangerous?”
Well, of course it is.
There’s no such thing as being completely safe.
Going with others is reassuring. If something happens, you can talk it through and help each other out.
But I often choose to go alone.
If all I wanted was to catch fish, I could go with someone else.
If all I wanted was to stand on a summit, that would be fine too.
But standing alone in a mountain stream feels different.
What if I run into a bear?
What if the water suddenly rises?
What if the weather turns bad?
Thoughts like these come naturally.
It can feel pretty lonely.
And yet, I value that feeling.
In fact, I think I’m looking for it.
And that is what I call awe.
Whether in mountain streams, on mountain trails, or while backcountry skiing.
That is always the foundation for me.
Nature does not care about our plans.
It does not matter whether you are a beginner or an expert.
And that is why, when I am out there, I get a much clearer sense of my own place.
Not big.
Not small.
Just one living creature among countless others.
That is the feeling.
I also do the kind of work people would call guiding.
And yet I am often told,
“You don’t seem much like a guide.”
They are probably right.
Why?
Because I don’t accompany my guests.
…What?
Beforehand, I scout the stream and check the entry and exit points.
I explain the route using maps, sketches, and photographs.
I ask guests to carry a GPS device so I can see their location on my phone.
Their mobile phones work as well.
I make every preparation I can.
All of it is done so they can move through the landscape on their own.
To be honest, it would be far easier for me to walk with them.
If there is danger, I can point it out immediately.
If there are fish, I can show them where to look.
But then I would be standing in the way.
Between the stream and the person.
Between nature and the person.
So I stay a little apart and keep watch.
I do not want to interfere with the time they spend facing nature on their own.
Maybe I don’t really want them to catch fish.
Maybe I don’t really want them to reach a summit.
What I want is for them to experience their own sense of awe.
Maybe that’s what it all comes down to.
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